Custody exchange log: what to write down at every pickup and drop-off
Updated October 12, 2026 · 3-minute read
Exchanges are the moments when the children go from one home to the other. Most go fine. Some start late, move to another place or don't happen at all. A short line for every exchange gives you a clear picture over time, without having to remember which Friday was which.
What a custody exchange log is
It's a simple list: one line per pickup or drop-off. You can keep it on paper, in a spreadsheet or in an app. What matters is that every line has the same few fields, so the log is easy to read and easy to count.
The 5 fields to write down
- Date.
- Planned time. What the schedule says.
- Actual time. When the exchange really happened.
- Place. School, home, a set meeting spot.
- How it went. On time, late, no-show, or cancelled with notice. Add a short note if something matters.
A sample week
| Date | Planned | Actual | Place | How it went |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mon 9/14 | 8:00 AM | 8:00 AM | School | On time |
| Wed 9/16 | 3:15 PM | 3:15 PM | School | On time |
| Fri 9/18 | 6:00 PM | 6:35 PM | Home | Late. No message before. |
| Sun 9/20 | 5:00 PM | — | Home | Cancelled with notice. Text on Sat: "sick, can we do Monday?" |
Late, missed or moved exchanges: keep it calm and factual
When an exchange doesn't go as planned, like a late pickup or a missed visitation, write it down the same way as any other: the times, the place and one short note.
- Write down exchanges that went fine too. A log with only problems is harder to read as a whole.
- Save the messages about changes, like a swap or a cancellation.
- Don't guess the reason. If they told you, write what they said.
How long to wait, and what to do when an exchange doesn't happen, depends on your parenting plan or order. Ask your lawyer or mediator.
Small habits that make exchanges easier to track
- Confirm changes in writing. If a time or place changes, a short text makes it easy to log later: "Confirming pickup Sunday 5 PM at school instead of home."
- Send a quick note if you're running late. It helps both of you, and it shows up in your own log too.
- Keep exchanges short and about the children. Save longer topics for a message or a call.
- Use the same place when your plan allows. Fewer changes mean fewer misunderstandings.
Once a month, count
At the end of the month, a quick count turns the lines into a picture: how many exchanges were on time, late, no-shows or cancelled with notice. Keep the count neutral. It's a count of what you wrote down, not a judgment.
Doing this in CustodyBook
- Log a custody day in one tap.
- Mark exchanges as on time, late, no-show or cancelled with notice. Reports count them for you.
- Export a clean monthly PDF you can share with your lawyer.
- CustodyBook is a private custody log for one parent: the other parent doesn't install anything, approve anything or see it.
Free for 7 days, then $14.99 once. No subscription.
